


On the Subject of Members

by the_emerald_rose



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Au Ra Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Female Warrior of Light (Final Fantasy XIV), Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:28:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26378824
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_emerald_rose/pseuds/the_emerald_rose
Summary: While enjoying the nightly Ladies' Night Out, the Warrior of Light is posed with an interesting question.
Kudos: 14





	On the Subject of Members

The Warrior of Light nursed her drink amidst the clatter and chatter of the Seventh Heaven. She really never was one for conversation, but she had been invited to the weekly Ladies’ Night Out. She had declined the past two invitations for sake of further adventure, and she knew never to decline an invitation the third time. So there she sat, drinking black tea with a splash of Ala Mhigan whiskey, hoping that the night ended sooner rather than later.

  
The other ladies were having some manner of discussion, but the Warrior was more inclined to observe. Alisaie, swirling a glass of red wine, was her usual brunt self. Y’shtola was pouring herself another goblet of red. Lyse was about as red as her usual red liberation outfit from the... what was this, her fourth, maybe, of Ala Mhigan whiskey. The Warrior chuckled a bit to herself at the thought of Lyse finally mastering the drunken monk style of fighting. Yugiri hid her intoxication well, what with her shinobi training and all. Even still, the Warrior could tell she was just the slightest bit buzzed from her sake.

  
And Krile, Twelve bless her heart, was deep into her second flagon of ale. Now normally, two flagons of ale would be hardpressed to floor anyone. But, when the waiter had brought her her initial order in a Lalafell-sized flagon, she had said, “I don’t think you understood me when I said I wanted a flagon of ale, like that Roegadyn has.” To emphasize, she pointed to a Roegadyn slumped on the bar, a large flagon in front of him. She said, “I want a flagon like the one before him. Surely you must have more than one of those flagons available.” And the crew had laughed, as this was apparently a game of hers, of ordering drinks built for people thrice her size and confusing the bar staff. But even so, that much ale had made her just a bit pricklier, and a hair bit more tomato-esque.

  
“Did you catch ANY of that at all?” Alisaie asked, shaking the Warrior from her reverie. “Judging by the vacant look on your face, I take it you didn’t.” Alisaie cleared her throat. “Very well. We’ve asked Yugiri this before, but she refuses to answer us. Thus, since you’re the only other Au Ra at the table, we must ask this as well.”

  
The Warrior of Light heaved a heavy sigh and took a sip of her tea. Alright. Time for the typical wide-eyed Au Ra related questions.Yes, the horns and tail are attached. Yes, it hurts to pull on them. No, you may not give them a tug yourself. Yes, the horns can break. Yes, it sucks. Yes, sometimes my scales shed, but so does regular skin. And no, not to my knowledge, has anyone in my kith or kin ever had relations with a dragon.

  
But nothing could have prepared her for this. Alisaie asked, “What are Au Ra dicks like?”

  
Her drink sprayed from her mouth, much to the laughter of her companions. She wheeled back to Alisaie, making sure she had heard her right. Alisaie continued, “Hear us out, will you? See, we as a group have well established that the male nethers are proportional in size to the man in question, hence why intercourse with Lalafells is... unsatisfying.”

  
“You talk like you’ve been there!” Lyse slurred, guffawing loudly.

  
“Oh no, that was me,” Shtola said. “Ever in the pursuit of knowledge, I tried. It’s like...” She took a swig of wine. “It’s like trying to fill a bucket with a pipette.”

  
The Warrior’s cheeks burned red as Alisaie continued, “Precisely. However, one thing that stands to mention is not only the size of the male, but the proportional size of the female. Of all the other races, the female, while slightly shorter, is of comparable size. Thus, intercourse would need to be...”

  
“Kind of like Goldilocks, then?” Krile piped up. “Not too big, not too small, just right.”

  
“Precisely! But then there are the Au Ra. Your males are as tall as Roegadyns, yet your females are as small as Miqo'tes. So that begs the question, what are the dicks like? Are they Roegadyn size? Miqo’te size? .... Lalafellan size?”

  
The Warrior, at length, set her drink down. Just as she was about to speak, Lyse asked, “Oh, wait! Also! Do the scales go down that far?” Yugiri winced. Lyse continued, a slight slur to her words, “Like we already discussed with Shtola that some of the tail fur is on other parts, but is it the same with the scales?”

  
Krile slammed her flagon down and demanded, “Are there SCALES on the DICKS, ladies?”

  
Yugiri buried her face in her hands and muttered something in Doman. While the Warrior of Light wasn’t one to think about the genitals of every passerby, she could see where the morbid curiosity would come in. At length, she said, “They are... w-well, first, the scales. Some umm... some scales do... go down... that far. Not like... to the end, but...”

  
“Do they hurt?” Krile asked.

  
“N-no,” the Warrior replied, with a shake of her head. “They’re umm... it’s kind of just like... a callous, almost. Not like... f-full on dragon scale, or like our horns.” She touched her neck, where similar scales glistened in the low candlelight. “But... the size. They’re ummm... l-large, yes. It’s not quite... unpleasant, though.”

  
The ladies leaned in.

  
“D-despite our um... slight physique... we’re uhh... equipped for them.”

  
All of a sudden, it was like a lantern lit up on the others. In unison, they said, “Ohhhhhhhhh.”

  
Krile said, “That makes sense, actually. You would need to carry the young, and the boys are bigger, even as babes.”

  
Shtola muttered, “Knew it.”

  
Lyse cackled at the thought. “Gods, the cavern analogy makes more sense now! Wait, does that mean that--”

  
“No others quite satisfy, yes,” Yugiri said, then drained her glass and poured herself more. “I suppose the only other option would be Roegadyn, but they have little interest once they realize how we’re equipped.” She sipped some more and continued, “They like feeling big, and they don’t feel big with us.”

  
“So have you just not tried anyone else?” Alisaie asked.

  
Yugiri quickly stammered, “I-I will not speak on this any further.”

  
The Warrior added, “Knew a girl back home who had tried just about everything she could get her hands on. Not for me, personally.” As far as the Warrior of Light was concerned, the longing for adventure and the world of Hydaelyn was far more enticing than a tumble in bed with some stranger. And yet, the morbid curiosity (and her drink) compelled the Warrior to ask, “What of umm... others?”

  
“Well, Hyur are about as run of the mill as you get,” Alisaie said. “It’s almost not even worth mentioning. And we’ve established that Roegadyn are big boys who like to feel huge, and Lalafells are tiny.”

  
“Hey, I’ve met a well endowed Lalafell before!” Krile exclaimed, draining her flagon.

  
“Yes, instead of two ilms, he was two and a half,” Shtola retorted.

  
“That half an ilm makes a gigantic difference!” Krile cried over the raucus laughter of her compatriots.

  
Yugiri sputtered on her drink, saying, “I just envisioned a Lalafell with a member the size of a Roegadyn.”

  
Lyse moaned, “Nooooo, now that’s in my head! Yugiri how could you?!”

  
The Warrior chuckled, then turned her attention to Alisaie. “And umm... what of Elezen?”

  
“Oh please, you’ve been with Aymeric.” Alisaie retorted. After a beat, and no reaction from the Warrior, she continued, “Or perhaps not. If you asked any Elezen man, he’d say that he’s like a Hyur but better in every way, including his endowment. I’ll leave the specifics to your imagination.”

  
“And Miqo’te?” The Warrior asked, turning her attention to Y’shtola.

  
Shtola took a swig of her wine and considered the empty glass, then the bottle on the table. She shrugged and poured herself more, saying, “They’re not exactly surprising, size wise, but they do have these raised ridges along the side. I believe the term they use is “ribbed for her pleasure”, but it’s not for everyone.” She took another tentative sip, then continued, “It’s worse on Hrothgar. They’re big AND pokey.”

  
The crew paused its chittering to turn to Y’shtola. Incredulously, Yugiri asked, “You’ve been with a _Hrothgar_?”

  
“Scientific curiosity.” Shtola replied.

  
“Gods, what _haven’t_ you been tumbled by?” Lyse asked.

  
“Firstly, we don’t judge one another for their tumblings at this table,” Krile said, reaching across the table for the bottle of wine. Yugiri snatched it out of her reach, much to Krile’s displeasure. “Secondly, based on context, we can gather Y’shtola has tumbled at least one of the eight races aside from Au Ra and Viera.”

  
“No one’s tumbled a Viera,” Yugiri mumbled.

  
“Could you imagine?” Lyse asked, attempting to rest her chin on her palms. However, her elbow gave out from under her, sending her into a fit of laughter. “They’ve got to either be phenomenal and the Viera keep them hidden away for their own use, or they’re ashamed and they refuse to submit themselves to our judgement!

  
“They’re probably like rabbits, though, and do it an awful lot,” Krile mused. She reached for Yugiri’s bottle of sake, but was sorely disappointed when Yugiri snatched it from her grasp. Krile let out a groan, then continued, “You’d think if they do it so much, they must be good.”

  
“Oh, you should see some of the people I’ve met in dungeons,” The Warrior muttered. Immediately her mind was drawn to her last foray into a dungeon, where the Paladin the guild had set her up with barely knew how to use his shield. Now was not the time for bemoaning dungeon politics. Now was the time for drinks and members. Speaking of drinks, she just barely snatched her drink from Krile’s grabbing hand before it was stolen and consumed. The Warrior drained her cup and placed it back down on the table, continuing, “Though, I wouldn’t mind giving Viera a try. Thirst for adventure and everything.”

  
At that, the crew laughed. Warrior of Light, savior of Eorzea, slayer of eikons, Scion of the Seventh Dawn, and tumbler of Viera. What a thought.

**Author's Note:**

> This was borne of a thought I had, after getting not enough sleep and needing to drive very far. On the return trip back, it struck me: Alisaie urgently asking the Warrior of Light about Au Ra dicks. Pseudo challenge with my partner, who got the same prompt.


End file.
